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| what the conglomerationalizedness! i'm soooooo awake! and it's three in the morning. did i not do enough today or what?? my body is sooooooooo soooo sooooooooooooooooo tired. but my brain isn't!
why!
tell me why does this happen to me!
conspiracy i tell you! something divine is forcing me against my will!
so like okay. i'll talk about my year so far. it's been good. =] just recently i got into this numerlogy phase. funnn stuff that numerology. phase didn't last long. not much to read into your name and birthdate. the readings were totally acurate and totally me. i love all that artsy stuff. and with a reading from both my birthdate and name seperately and together..... hot diggity was i amazed! doggone it! it was on that center spotlight in that middle ring of acurateness. right on that dot. art. haha. how did people come up with such theories as to calculations of your birthdate and name to come out with your personality. even your future. your past. and fricken every detail about yourself??
i'm going to sleep on it. and let it boil in my brain. toooo muchhhh thinking!!!!
{(o_o)} --wrar? i'm a lion!
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| as it turns out, halloween was a no-go. i repeat, NO-GO. i pretty much stayed home all night and read. i really didn't expect much.. i mean, i hardly keep in touch with my friends anymore. so, it's not a big surprise to me. i thought i was going to hang out with my boyfriend and his friends.. but that was not very well-planned.
i did see inuyasha at longs though. that made my day pretty good. i also saw a storm trooper. and... surprise surpirse, a lot of sluts. i swear.. a lot of girls were unusually dressed up as whores. more so than last year. skirts just keep having less fabric for a higher price. what is up with that!
anywho. i have a new president. we all have a new president. at least, in the US. i'm not really surprised about this. i mean, it's inevitable. but WOW. we're not a racist country. at least, some of the people who voted aren't. and well. okay. i didn't vote. but i would have. i just need to catch up on my sleep. to tell the truth, i wouldn't have voted for presidential ballot. just the mayoral and the thing about the rail......
i'll save the rail for another pointless rant.
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| for the sake of halloween spirit! i'm writing in here. it's been two months for me as a college student. it feels exactly like high school. minus the uber cool besties. and minus the dramas. but... i'm still pretty much a loner. nothing much has changed in that department.
anywho, word is that halloween falls on a friday this year. whoopie doo. trick or treating anyone? i know i'm already 18.. but one can never be too old to trick or treat. especially on a friday. especially since i'm 18 now. especially since all of us are dressing up. and by us, i mean me, my boyfriend, and our friends. yep. our friends. originally his friends, but i hope they consider me a friend as well. the more the merrier right?
i have no clue what i'm going to be for halloween. i have a green dress that was supposed to be my costume.... but it's kinda broken. haha. i was going to be a... erm.. i forgot that word. those kinda girls that lived in the old western times. haha. one of those.. with a feather in my hair. and all that g stuff. but. if i'm going to be trick or treating... i'd need practical shoes... then a costume to go with that. unfortunately... halloween is right around the corner and i have not a clue as to what i'm going to be. time is limited, prices are high and so is demand. it sucks. next week.. you think i can pull something together in a week??
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| dear god,
i'm writing to you because i just want better luck. i want to be a better person for jordan. i want to actually make him smile everyday. i don't him to be mad at me ever again. can't you understand that i love him? and i want the best for our relationship. i want to be with him forever. and if i am with him forever... shouldn't he always smile? i just want us to be happy. i'm trying.. is it not hard enough? this is the first time that i'm writing to you. can you hear me out?
please please please. god.
i'll be a good girl. i just want to make him happy.
jen
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| i'm glad that the worst is over.
i just cried about how i started this year and ended the last one. i'm never going to get over what happened. it hurts me so much to think about it. i'm your angel, the good thing that happened to you. yet i'm also your heartache. i hate the fact that i hurt you so much. i really hated the fact that you didn't want to see me even though i saw you everyday for the past two years. i just wanted to be with you. but you wanted to be with your friends.
okayyyy. i'm running out of energy to write nowdayssss. =/
good night xanga. <3
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