jen, can i give you some advice? i think it's impossible to live on this planet earth and be happy all the time. Sad things happen, whether it's to millions starving on the other side of the world or to us, when loved ones are hurting or leaving//
If you want to be a better person though (a very admirable goal) you should try to live your life in a way that's pleasing to God. But you should know that God has his own plans for you so obeying Him is not always easy. but He helps you.
I'm pretty sure no matter how hard we try, we can't ever be good enough on our own-- no one's perfect.. but God is perfect and He wants to talk to you... keep praying. God will answer you. but maybe not in the way you expect.